Knickers in a twist

The M and S full brief

The illusive bikini breifs

I recently looked into my underwear drawer and saw, as I always see, a riot of multi coloured/ patterned pants- some of them have a matching bra, but most of them do not. I sigh, knowing that when that bus does mow me down the ambulance people will cut off my clothes and see ill fitting, fairly old and definitely not matching underwear.

I thought “I will bin all these childish coloured non matching underwear and replace it with endless matching underwear.” Now, I believe it a total glossy magazine myth that some, or indeed most, women wear silky matching lingerie sets at all times- its just not practical and it would be very expensive, not to mention time consuming. To combat this I had a genius idea- Only to buy black underwear and black bras- that way I would always match. Nothing fancy- just plain, cotton and sporty, a cross between 90s Calvin Klein and American Apparel- how effortlessly stylish my underwear will look!

Or at least this is what I thought…I set out to buy a basic multi-pack of black cotton briefs in a standard pant shape- I went where any person looking for basic, comfy pants would- the M&S website- I chose my shape (bikni brief) and colour (black) and, “oh the pack is mixed black and white- never mind I’ll go to the store-yes, there they are!” Very pleased I looked for my size (10) “Hmmmm only size 14 or 16, I will order them- ah, I am not able to, its ok the assistant is stock checking other stores-and…they only have them in Scotland” I have been thwarted in my quest.

I will be purchasing the black cotton full breifs- Vogue says full briefs are having a fashion moment and the comments say they don’t leave VPL, this is good enough for me. All I need to do now is buy some basic black bras. Easy…